I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
