look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
