just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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