final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
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