honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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