So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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