apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
