she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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