You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
