Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
