be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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