bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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