so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
