I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
