Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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