Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
this must be what syphilis tastes like
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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