i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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