im gay
i know
yea but for you.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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