drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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