I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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