i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
