Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize