Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
