Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
