i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I am available for nakedness
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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