she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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