yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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