i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
