the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
