Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
