YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
