bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
