I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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