I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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