I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
