you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
try to milk me bitch
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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