we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
it's like iHOP with fire
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
