So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
