I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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