Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
