You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
