My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
