is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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