Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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