dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Randomize
