I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
