K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Randomize
