I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
