Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
