Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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