Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
