just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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