you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
